What does it mean to be beautiful?

or, the one in which she explores societal beauty standards - part one of many

Yesterday, I watched an interesting TikTok live that seems to be something of a trend. Basically, the person hosting the live held up a piece of paper that read something along the lines of “Only talking when the FINEST girl joins.” As you can imagine, there was a crowd of women joining the live, trying to be “The One” who would cause him to speak. Again, as you can imagine, this man was tight lipped until the end of the video — and he came up with a lame excuse of “oh, there were some baddies, but I didn’t see the finest.”

I thought it was a cringey video but I stayed and watched to the end. Why? I can’t say. But it got me thinking. What does it actually mean to call someone beautiful? Is beauty relative, subject to your past and experiences and desires? Or is there a universal scale by which we can weigh someone and tell if they’re beautiful? Must beauty be considered by another person, or can you call yourself beautiful without needing anyone else to agree?

Photo by Peter Kalonji on Unsplash

All of the women who joined the live were beautiful. In my eyes, at least. And yet this man sat there, tight-lipped, staring at them with blank eyes before kicking them off the live. They didn’t fit his description of “the FINEST girl.” What happens to their self-esteem after this? There were almost 20k people on that live, watching them get rejected… What if they go back thinking that they’re not beautiful enough to even be spoken to? The real question is — why does his opinion matter? (And no, this isn’t a dig at the creator). Why does anyone’s opinion matter?

How many women especially stare at pictures and videos of models, silently loathing themselves and their God-given beauty because they don’t look like that girl? How many more people will develop eating disorders just to become slim, or thick, or whatever it is that seems to be the latest fad? How long will we continue to balance our acceptance of our selves on what other people consider to be stunning, gorgeous, beautiful?

I kept telling myself that I would never find myself being part of the ladies who were requesting to go on live to get him to break his silence. And then I started wondering why. I think deep down, I felt as though if I went on live and was rejected, I would take that as a reflection of myself and my self-worth. But that shouldn’t have to be the case. I shouldn’t have to think of myself as beautiful or not just because someone has their opinion.

In all honesty, I am not sure where this first post is going. I just wanted to get my initial thoughts off my chest. But now I’m really thinking… what, really, is beauty? What does it mean to be beautiful? Is it internal or external?

I’ll be back when I start figuring out the answer. Until then, let me know what you think.

Until next time,

Dzifa 💜